Nicely, I used to be seduced once more. I went on the Sézane web site, noticed that completely every thing on there would nearly positively make me appear like a twenty year-old Parisian sex-kitten from the seventies after which ordered a load of stuff.
It arrived (after un petit delay), I unwrapped my haul from its très fairly paper and tried every thing on. Did I instantly appear like a twenty year-old Parisian sex-kitten from the seventies?
Mais non.
Most likely one thing to do with the truth that I’m not twenty and so my boobs, completely high-quality although they’re, would not have the type of lush, rounded fulsomeness that may make a bog-standard cotton henley t-shirt look probably the most alluring garment ever created.
And likewise to do with the truth that Sézane are merely masters of styling and French-cool clothes presentation to the purpose of near-deception. They might make a binbag look come-hither. How they’ve managed to make their “Brut Attractive” denims look good within the photographs is past me – in actual life they’ve the weirdest form that appears fully at odds with each single a part of the human anatomy.
(You want area in your hips? No can do. However pay attention: we’ve taken the area that you just wanted in that département and allotted it to the thigh space. And sure, we all know they’re a bit brief within the leg however don’t fear – we’ve added that material proper to the highest in an effort to really feel much more uncomfortably encased in stiff, unyielding denim.)
I jest. Sézane make some really very lovely things. It’s simply that – for me not less than – the fact of making an attempt them on is so, so removed from the fantasy I purchase into after I browse the positioning. As a result of sure, the outsized shirt is beautiful however am I actually going to put on it unbuttoned to the navel (from each prime and backside) with no bra beneath? Je thinks not. Sure the cardigans are one way or the other probably the most seductive-looking cardigans on earth however am I going to pop to Sainsbury’s with my cardi hanging totally off one shoulder? Or worn again to entrance? Will I be capable to weigh my bananas on the free gadgets scales with out shedding my knitwear totally?
It’s like this ongoing shoulder robing pattern. (Stick with me.) Vogue individuals on-line typically put on their coats thrown over their shoulders, like cloaks, quite than placing their arms via the sleeves like normal challenge coat-wearers. This makes almost each single coat they put on look each wonderful and extremely dramatic as a result of additional quantity created and the truth that they now have this spectacular square-shouldered silhouette, like a quarterback. You possibly can see why medieval lords flung a cloak on: prompt gravitas and don’t fuck with me, Badulf vibes.
However there’s an issue with shoulder-robing your coat and it’s this: you can not presumably carry out any type of activity, even probably the most menial, with out having your arms correctly poked via your sleeves. In case you shoulder gown then your arms successfully turn into pinioned to your sides – if you happen to transfer them an excessive amount of, or if you happen to resolve in a sudden, irrational second that you just’d wish to stoop down to select up the cellphone you’ve simply dropped or to tie a shoelace with the intention to forestall your self from tripping and breaking your personal neck, the coat will slide off.
What a time to be alive.
Anyway, hats off to Sézane as a result of they’ve completely obtained me. I’m by no means not going to be lured in by photographs of fashions with completely undone Sam McKnight hair wanting effortlessly cool and youthful and un petit peu kittenish. Whilst I sort this publish I’ve one other tab open: for his or her new season assortment that has simply dropped as we speak. (Discover it here*.) And there are not less than 5 gadgets in my basket already that I do know will immediately rework me into the type of lady who by no means wears thermal leggings, has an inherited condo within the seventh arrondissement and doesn’t should unzip her denims after lunch.
Right here’s a little video of what I attempted on on this specific Sézane order – keep tuned for the inevitable subsequent instalment as I’m nothing if not a glutton for punishment… In case you’re studying this by way of e mail subscription then the video will likely be on the finish of the publish.
I attempted:
Slim Parfait Denims in Mild Blue, Measurement 12 – £95 here* – contemplating retaining, let me know what you suppose!
Max Shirt, Very Mild Denim, Measurement 8. £95 here* – contemplating retaining as soon as I’ve discovered not less than 3 ways to put on it, not together with “in any other case bare” or “with lace knickers” as a result of they don’t depend as outfits and I’d like all shirtmakers to know this.
Brut Attractive Denims, Indigo, Measurement 10. £95 here* – non, non, non.
Très Cliché tee, small, £50 here* – oui oui oui! Holding.
Milo T-Shirt, £55 here* – non.
Theodora T-Shirt, £60 here* – non.
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